Boy with a coin
by Ro Nordmann
Summary: The world has collapsed, only chaos and death roam the Earth. Buffy lives in a dystopian society, where only the strongest and fiercest survive. Will she ever find something...someone to life for? One-shot


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**Boy with a coin**

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**Disclaimer**: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.

Inspired by my banner-rama entry FFA Contest - fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer; song: "Boy With a Coin" by Iron and Wine

Dedicated to my sister-wife, **TLCullen132**

Beta: Bella Ami

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**BuffyPOV**

Every day is the same. No one would have thought the apocalypse would happen; it was all some hocus pocus of religious fanatics and advertisement campaigns to make people buy stuff they didn't need. Or so we thought, the incredulous hordes, the sinners without repentant blame. That's what my mother believed; that God would punish the world for their unrepentant ways, for not believing and changing the ways of the darkness that consumes us and walking into the light of our Savior. Too bad she was wrong too.

There's no light or darkness.

Only survival.

They call me the Slayer. I stop for no one and no one stops for me. I help the innocent and the weak, my only weakness, they say. I have no one and no one to care for me. It is the only way I have survived this long. I did have a family once, a mother and a sister, Dawn. My mother, in her despair and her religious confusion, made the decision she would not be part of the Devil's reign on Earth taking my sister's and her own life.

Why did I stay behind?

I didn't take the poison.

Was I selfish? Or a coward, perhaps...

Sometimes I do wish I had taken it and died with them.

Earth isn't what it used to be. The human race is no longer civilized and concentrated on making the world a better place concerned with global warming or the need for recycling and renewable energy. There's no use for it.

Terror, blood, and death are the new world order.

There's no place for innocence and naiveté.

Only the fittest survive the day-to-day, by killing and staying out of sight.

Humans killing humans, it's the daily routine. Whatever food is found can cause a bloodbath in seconds.

It seems there's some sort of government organization that supplies food at least once a week, in Sunnydale. Don't know how it is anywhere else, since there's no longer communication with the outside world. No electricity and we are lucky when water is supplied.

I miss being a little kid, with no worries what so ever. When I could run around and touch the grass, when I could climb a tree and see the sky. When I was five or six, I found a little bird in my backyard. It was very small and was a bit hurt. I took care of it and one day it flew away. Since then I've always wanted to fly, be free as that little bird, just as innocent too.

Never again.

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**SpikePOV**

Pain.

So much pain.

Fighting for your life will do that to you.

Dru was dead. And I felt nothing. She had been my world for so long and now I feel nothing.

I fear I'm becoming more like them, than I like it to be.

The world had become shit, and I had been caught in the middle of it, a lab rat for a super secret government facility trying to safe what little of it still existed.

I had been chosen, 'cause apparently I have supernatural strength or some fucking shit that made me immune to the radiation and destruction that has rained on humanity for the past two years. No one was prepared for hell to open its gates and swallow everything in its path. Some thought the End of Days was here, others announced the aliens' invasion coming to destroy the Earth like _War of the Worlds_. All I know is that in different parts of the world, the earth sunk in and where this happened horrible things began to occur. People started to kill each other, diseases spread killing faster than medicine could cure, and wars between countries started without provocation.

Living on an island had its advantages, England survived longer than most without getting contaminated and attacked. Then the bomb went off and the population was decimated almost instantly. Very few remained and most died the following weeks from radiation poisoning. Miraculously, I was spared along with Dru, the love of my life.

We had lived underground only a few weeks, with meager provisions, when storm-troopers, for lack of a better description, descended and took us. Somehow, I was transported into what used to be the United States of America, now a territory of No Man's Land. A superpower nation completely destroyed, with regions where only survival was possible by the occasional drops of food.

I didn't see a bright future in the horizon.

What was the point?

Devastation, famine, disease and death were only our new way of life.

I was clearly a stubborn bastard, when it would be easier to give up the fight. I was tired of being analyzed, probed and studied.

I miss my youthful outlook, when all it took to make me a happy bloke was finding a coin.

Looking back, we were heading to this destination all along. Corruption and violence was doing us in. Now the world we lived in had turned on us, slowing taking what was hers to begin with.

I had dreams once... of being a poet and musician, of being a husband and father, but without my Dru, without a world to live in, I see no future.

We are in No Man's Land.

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**BuffyPOV**

There are rumors.

An organization of sorts, the one that keeps us, the remaining filth living. I guess it would be the army or some armed forces that would stay after the chaos. They called it "The Initiative", since they are trying to restore Earth. It is said they are the ones who will cure of us of the Hell-mouth.

I don't have any hope for that to ever happen.

I'm just biding my time.

Living minute to minute, not worrying about what tomorrow might bring. There are no assurances, no security that tomorrow might come. Uncertainty is the norm of our lives now.

The few that have survived, women and some children, I do try to protect. I feel responsible and able to help as much as I can. Especially at the time of food distribution, I get and share as much as I'm able, or else these people who depend on me would starve and die. The others, my fellow peers don't understand, they live and fight for themselves. I see that many of them, whom I considered my friends', have succumbed to this fight or flight mentality, forgetting their humanity and compassion to the weaker and in need.

Xander is totally unrecognizable and Willow, well she has resorted to being used between the big shots of the group. It hurts seeing my friends destroyed by this apocalyptic time, but there's nothing I can do for them, they made their choice and will have to live with it, until this world finally consumes itself in flames.

At the moment, I'm hiding in an abandoned warehouse, very close to the city. The smell is revolting, raw sewage and human remains everywhere and no government to clean up. I should be accustomed to it by now, but still my stomach turns in on itself and I'm often dry heaving. Breathing deeply, and trying not to make too many sounds, I'm staking out the Initiative. I want to know who they are. What are their plans for the remaining population of Sunnydale? I have taken a risk by coming so close to the city, but I need answers. I could get lucky and find more food and other supplies.

I'm taken by surprise when this man comes running out of nowhere, half-naked and crazed. From what I could see, blood was dripping from needle marks he had all over his arms. He seemed like an escaped mental patient... He had escaped, but from what or whom?

Just when he was passing close by, he sensed my movement. He made me out somehow in the low visibility given by the coming night. I wanted to scream, but thought better of it. No one was coming to my rescue, and I'm not totally defenseless. But nothing could have prepared me for the feel of his touch or the sight of his eyes.

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**SpikePOV**

Test subject #456. That was my name. No more William or "Spike" as my Dru liked to call me, 'cause of ... um my spike. You were just a number, another subject to take from, at anytime, without concern for it. I was an It, no longer a human being. I was being preserved for the sole purpose of getting some needed answers. I was one of the anomalies, by surviving nuclear warfare and not getting radiation poisoning.

I was even given contaminated water to prove my immunity, and once again I was spared the debilitating and horrifying death I saw with my own eyes happening to my neighbors back home. Dru had survived all that, but they had to keep trying and experimenting. Her light seemed to dim until it was consumed by darkness. She wanted to say something, but she wasn't strong enough. I know she wanted to warn me, and she wanted me to run.

I kept my eyes and ears opened for the one opportunity that would allow me to escape from this prison. I would use any means necessary to get away from the Initiative, as they had the gall to call themselves, the saviors of human kind.

The opportunity presented itself on a young female recruit, Lt. Amy Madison. I had noticed she stared more than usual. I had to use it to my advantage. The next time she came by my cell, I started using my special charm, Dru used say my accent and panty-dropping smile could get anything. Thinking of her and the way she died almost deterred me of my plan, but she had wanted me to survive and I would do it for her, for my Dru.

"Hello there my sweet... I'm so lonely in here. Is there any chance I might get sometime outside?" Her breathing halted and then she gasped turning and locking her eyes with mine, I got the vibe this woman was missing the companionship of the opposite sex. Daunting fact, since she was surrounded by males, but it seemed it was against the rules. Better for my plan, I would seduce the desperate woman and get myself free.

With a trembling hand she opened my gate, barely whispering she said, "What's your name?" I obliged her and said she could call me Will; no one had ever called me that. "I'm going to take you to another place, most of the team is out on the field and we won't be disturbed".

Excellent.

She took me to some closed off room, that had a locker and a couple of bunk beds. She noticed my perusal of the meager items in the room.

"Um... maybe we can..."

I stopped her rambling and started kissing her, trying to shut her up and by the same action making her more aroused and less concentrated on what my next actions would be. I walked her to the wall, making her think I wanted to have standing-against-the-wall-sex. My Dru would say: "fucking up," she was a woman of few words but plenty of action. Reminiscing of her made my current actions believable, my body had been in-tuned to her every whim and it seemed pointless living without her.

Hard breathing and panting sounds surrounded us. I was feeling the effects all over my body, but my mind wouldn't cooperate. This wasn't my mate, my Dru, it felt wrong and I simply stopped. Amy looked into my eyes and saw my sorrow. She nodded in understanding. I had failed Dru, by touching another and by not going along with it. What a contradiction...

My second opportunity came out of pure adrenaline and rage. It seemed some bloody doctor thought it would be a good idea to practically drain me of my blood, stupidly they thought I would submit to their treatment, with a bit of sedative. Curiously sedatives don't work on my body, and this time this was my saving grace. Yanking the needles and tubes with force, blood spilled everywhere, but I didn't stop and simply used my survival instincts to guide me to freedom.

In the end, Amy helped me, she let me go, opening a secured door. I didn't know why she did it, maybe she knew if I stayed I would die like Dru, or maybe she was no longer blind to what the so-called Initiative was doing for the greater good of humanity.

I felt disoriented and faint, the blood loss was affecting my thought processes and I could barely keep standing up. Only hearing the alarms and the shouts of the impending squad right on my back, kept me running. I needed shelter and fast. Unfortunately, I wasn't home, this was a city in ruins I wasn't familiar with. Everywhere I looked it was abandoned and destroyed, covered in the remains of what life used to be. The stench overwhelmed me, causing me to bend over and retch until nothing was left on my stomach.

Death.

It was the smell of death and the finality of the world.

Humanity had caused it, by its greed and ignorance. Hell had opened its gates. Only a few had survived, the chosen ones, I was apparently one of those... for what purpose, it remained unknown.

A warehouse was on my left. I thought of going there and hiding for a while, until I saw movement inside. Someone was inside, probably hiding as well. It could be Death coming to get me, but I was not afraid.

Storming through a broken window, I was confronted with an apparition, an angel from Heaven left, a creature left among the filth and scum of the Earth. I felt as if my heart had been re-started. Since the death of my beloved I had merely existed, but now I had been revived, resurrected from the darkness. I felt like a boy with a coin, full of hope.

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**BuffyPOV**

How strange can life get?

We were in danger, that was clear, but nothing else seemed to matter to this man. He kept looking at me, as if I were an apparition, when clearly I was real. I started walking backwards, and he kept walking forward, towards me without delay, it was a bit comical, like he was connected by strings, a puppet at my disposal. I felt silly thinking it. There was no time for ruminations. Once we were out the other way, I gave him the signal to follow, we needed to find a better place to hide, and then he could explain why he was running from the Initiative.

He just followed, without question. I had never felt more elated and unhinged at the same time. No one trusts anymore, and here is this man trusting me.

What if I took him back to the Initiative?

There was this one guy, I think he's name is Riley, who seemed more compassionate than the rest. In one of my staking out missions, there was one time, a woman lying out in the street and was asking for some water. Clearly she was about to die from one of the many illnesses plaguing humans. The squad was apparently checking the area, from my hiding place I could see, this guy going towards the woman and giving her the water. She died almost instantly, as if the water was the last catalyst. I saw it as mercy, her agony was over. Another member of the squad ridiculed this Riley guy for his kindness. I knew from that moment if I ever was caught by the Initiative I would hope for Riley to be among them.

I took the escaped man to my current hiding spot, inside the house's basement close to what used to be my high school. From the outside no one would imagine anyone lived inside, and that is why it was perfect. I lived alone, with the made up weapons I had acquired, cot on the floor and the few clothes left by the past inhabitants. It was enough for my day-to-day survival.

Suddenly he seemed to have lost his drive and collapsed on the floor. I immediately looked for the first aid kit and found one in the upstairs bathroom cabinet. I was assessed his wounds. The blood had stopped flowing and clotting. That was good news, so I started to clean his arms and cover it with antibacterial ointment. I laughed at my actions, they seemed futile in the big scheme of things, but kept doing it. It allowed me to really look at my stranger. Huh, my stranger? Shaking my head at my inane thoughts, I noticed the bruises on his torso and wrists. He had been restrained many times. He looked strong and healthy, dare I say attractive. I needed to find him a shirt, 'cause well, he needed one and I couldn't keep staring at his physique, but what a body. How could he be so fit? I thought it would be practically impossible to be healthy with the scrap we get for food, but then I remember he probably was part of the Initiative, they seemed healthy.

In his delirium, he kept murmuring "angel, my angel" over and over. This reminded me of a lost love, a boy I had loved so much, but had been hurt just as much. Angel had been everything to me, every first that mattered in my life, but he had become another person close to the time the world started to collapse. He became possessive and aggressive, treating me like a piece of property he own and could use however he wanted. It felt like he had been possessed, as if a foreign entity had taken control of his body. My mother was sure it was the demons from Hell, taking hold of its army, using humans for their own purposes. In the end, he was my first kill, it was in my defense and I don't regret it. It doesn't mean it hurts any less.

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**SpikePOV**

I felt so tired. I simply gave in to the feeling. I was with my angel, the sign I needed to keep living. Dru had said this life will have meaning; all the things that we live through have a purpose. I had always dismissed her philosophical ramblings and kissed her until she couldn't speak anymore or wouldn't want to, but now I see it differently. She had prepared me for our future, we were meant to live during the time we existed. Now my life was entwined with my angel, she was the answer I have searched for; a reason for living in this chaotic existence. The rest would be dealt with as it comes.

I had a fever, making me sweat, keeping me under a hazy spell. I could sense my angel; she was taking care of me. I felt something inside of me beat, come to life. My heart was opening itself; coming out of the darkness it had been enshrined.

A dream or a vision began in my mind's eye; a future of a much brighter possibility. Forces outside of our control had taken hold and destroyed what humanity had done. The dregs left would be wiped out, only the worthy would stay and rebuild, the ones with pure hearts would find prosperity and multiply once again. There would be more destruction, then the resurrection of civilization at the hands of the ones chosen by the powers that be. How I knew this, I could not say. That future was revealed in snippets, by my side. My angel was important. There was no one more worthy than her, she had been tested, but she had persevered and she will be rewarded. I was her reward, her savior... She looked ethereal, touched by a heavenly being; bestowed upon her the gift of life, a life she had to help grow. She must house the seed of hope for a better world.

It was too much and I woke with a start. Light was creeping through a hole in a ratty old curtain. My angel was no longer by my side. With some effort I got on my feet, stumbling up the creaking stairs, hoping I didn't need to defend myself, but didn't find her in the first floor of the ransacked house.

Where was my angel?

Was she hurt?

Will I never see her again?

I started counting to calm myself, remnants of an anger management program I was forced to take part in back in school, for being a bloody idiot. She is coming back, she is just looking for food and she is coming to check on you, don't overreact. I felt like I was losing Dru all over again, the feeling of helplessness flowed freely through my system taking hold and keeping me paralyzed.

I was awoken from my stupor by the opening and closing of a door in the back of the house, and in stomped my angel huffing and cursing about something.

"Fucking vultures, how can they steal from children...Xander, how could he hurt innocent people, I just don't get it... Oh SHIT!...It's you, sorry you scared me, I was looking for some food it was a bit of fight but I did get some canned peaches.." I rammed into her taking her in my arms, thanking whatever god or goddess for my angel, she was here and unharmed. She was good and kind, a pure heart, just like my vision. She started pushing on my chest and then stopped worried she was hurting me. I pulled back and looked into her crystal blue eyes, I saw in them her pain, she had lost everything, just like me, and had suffered and sacrificed greatly for others. I wanted to be worthy of her, of her courage and her strength.

"Sorry. I'm just glad that you are safe. I woke up and you were not here…"

"Let's introduce ourselves, shall we? Then we can tell our stories, sound okay?"

"Yes, I'm Spike, well my name is William, but...you can call me Spike."

"I'm Buffy…yes my mother was insane and gave a very weird name. Nice to meet you, Spike. May I ask, why that nickname?"

Silence.

I had a lump inside my throat that didn't let me speak. She started to look uncomfortable and I wanted to clarify why it was hard to explain.

"You don't have to, it must be painful. Are you part of the Initiative?"

This did make her react rather abruptly.

"Those bloody bastards! Fuck NO! They have kept me prisoner with my Dru and experimenting on us, until they killed. I finally got the opportunity to escape yesterday, or else I would have been next."

I stopped my ranting to take deep breaths.

"Oh my God, they had you prisoner...I thought they were helping us, they bring food to the survivors, at least once or twice a week. When the fighting between the gangs in the city get really bad, they interfere and it is said they are here to restore order and society. I've watched from afar, I wanted to find their place of operation, but haven't been successful."

"STAY WAY from the Initiative, they would probably start taking specimens and blood from you too...You look healthy, just their type."

"Even Riley? He appeared to be humane and kind to people..."

An irrational thought of her thinking kindly of any members of the Initiative caused me to get enraged.

"KIND? HUMANE? Killing my mate, draining my blood until almost killing me is HUMANE? If I could I would go back and kill them all!"

"I'm sorry, forgive my ignorance...it's just they have been the only force against the other evils that surrounds us, what's left of the women and children, they depend on them and the food deposits. I try to help get as much food for the people close by; they aren't strong nor have the will to face the horde when the distribution starts. Many people perish right there, more would if not for the Initiative's intervention. We have to agree to disagree on our views on the Initiative."

"Fine. What can I drink? I'm in need of water..."

I changed the subject, there was no point antagonizing her any further, it was clear that our experiences didn't match, she hadn't been tortured by the fucking death squad, to her they were really saving, when they were helping the extermination of the human race and looking for a chimera, a creature made up of the best genetics to be the next generation of humans. I was a big part of those plans.

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**BuffyPOV**

He was infuriating. Just what I needed; a bull-headed man telling me how things are. Don't I have a mind? Eyes? Yes, the world was fucked up, but I knew what I saw and lived. I kept quiet and went looking for the water I had collected. I felt bad almost immediately, I didn't know what he had lived through; he had run from the Initiative; I had taken care of his wounds.

He was still shirtless, and his pants were hanging low on his hips, enticing me to look and think of matters...well things that were of no concern right at this moment. I was no virgin, but he made me feel like one. He was a man, while I was still a teenage girl, barely eighteen. When this hell started I had just turned sixteen. Something I clearly didn't envision was seeing my mother and sister dead by poison, by their own hands, side by side on my mother's bed. I had never imagined I would be forced to stab who I thought was the love of my life in the heart, 'cause he had turned into the devil incarnate. It was a nightmare I wanted to wake up from, but as much as I pinched myself I didn't wake from it.

Coming back into what used to be the kitchen, I found Spike sitting on a bench, his head in his hands, it seemed like he was praying. I almost left him, until he turned his head towards my direction, and locked his gaze on my eyes. Eyes, that told of his loss, he had called her his Dru. I felt sorry and petty for getting angry at his outburst, he had no one, just like me, we were lost souls, vagabonds in this earthy plane of mass destruction and hopelessness. In that moment, I felt connected, no longer a waif waiting for her demise, I was part of something greater, bigger, than anything I ever imagined. He was here and I was meant to be with him, we were going to survive this, and maybe I would see the sea again and the birds. How I hoped to see birds soaring through the skies, it was my freedom. I could taste it and feel it around me, as if a banquet had fallen on top of me. In my mind I saw my mother taking care of me from the afterlife, letting me know all was not lost, to give this a chance.

"Spike, how old are you?"

Great timing, just let the man drink his water, then you can talk. He diverted his gaze, somehow knowing his stare did things to my mind and body. Expelling a breath, he took a drink and then turned to lock his eyes with mine once again.

"23 years old, ma'am."

"Ugh! Don't call me that! I'm 18! By the way, my birthday was last week, yea for me, for surviving my second year..."

"You've been on your own for two years?"

"Yes...I can take care of myself." This I said with complete attitude, making me look immature and clearly my age.

He laughed heartily, and I felt butterflies in my stomach, fluttering to their heart's content. He was a handsome man. He awakened something not unknown but not like I had ever felt before. He was different from anyone else I had ever met and he wasn't American, I could tell from his accent...another question.

"Where are you from? You are not American..."

"I'm English; I was brought to America by the Initiative..."

He started to tell me his story and by the end I had tears flowing freely down my face. He told me, if the Initiative knew of my existence and my qualities I would probably be taken and studied. He explained the plans for the repopulation of Earth with a new and improved human race, a chimera. To me it was monstrous and something out of a science-fiction television series, but then we were living in post-apocalyptic society, anything was possible.

Spike said we had to be careful and stay hidden. He wanted me to show him where the food-drop off was located, but I stopped him and told him I had a job to do to help the others. I didn't want him to expose himself and be seen by any of the squad and be taken back. To this he shook his head and smiled, it was the first smile I had seen since the death of my baby sister. It made me smile in return.

That night I told him part of my story, how my mother knew the end of days was coming and how she decided to end her own life and ours. I cried while retelling it, as if I was living it once again seeing them still and cold on the bed. I confessed I had regretted many times not taking the poison and dying with them, but Spike told me he was glad I had hesitated and stayed alive.

Where would he be now, if not for me?

I wanted to answer, where would I be now without you?

It scared me how my day's routine changed to accommodate him, how we divided duties over safety, collection of water and supplies. I didn't feel that hole inside, the black hole I thought would actually start suctioning and making me disappear. Time started to pass faster with Spike beside me. Sadly he got some clothes and was no longer going about shirtless, but when the temperature started to raise it would come off and he would show off. I would in turn blush deep red from head to toe and escape to visit the kids living on the house next door.

Since Spike was a grown man I couldn't control him, and he would be on his own on his own scavenging missions, in one of those he found a black leather jacket, that made him look just like a rock star. I wanted to jump him, desire coursed through my veins, affecting my heart beat and my breathing. My own reactions triggered his own and he took me into his arms and kissed me, at first just pecks, testing. He wanted my approval, and I willing gave it. I licked his lower lip asking for entrance, from there we were taking and giving, drinking from each other, as if it was the last kiss we would ever have. I took his jacket off, and yanked his t-shirt off as well. He wanted to take my tank off too, but I kept him under my control, this was by my rules. He knew of my previous baggage, he had to tread carefully otherwise I would flip and he would lose me. Taking hold of my arms, he took what he needed, what he wanted from my lips. I was breathless and he let me take a breath, but not relenting on his pursuit, branding my skin with his lips, nips and bites. He was hungry...hungry for me and I wanted him so much. I was ready to let go, when loud detonations startled our attention. I heard screams and knew something very bad was going on and we were needed.

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**SpikePOV**

Buffy, my angel was a girl...and a woman, but still she possessed a child-like innocence I wanted to keep. She dreamt of a world where children would be safe again and I wanted to give it to her, if only it was my hands to give.

Did I fall head-over-heels in love with her?

Yes.

How?

Was it in an instant?

I would like to think so.

I haven't been the same since I saw her. I don't regret it either. In a way our life has turned into like the one I had underground, we hid and scavenged for what was available, enduring day by day.

I loved it when she looked at me with lustful eyes, like when I took my shirt off just for that sole purpose, to see her shudder and turn and escape with the excuse of being needed elsewhere. I wanted her, but she had to want it to. I would never force it, she had been hurt by someone she trusted and loved, her first experience with a man, well a boy, but it was enough to mark her. I was proud she had been strong enough to end him herself. If he was possessed or not, he had no right to abuse her or force himself on her, he got what he deserved.

Dru was still on my mind, but now I wanted to make her proud. Her life had not been in vain, she would see me live the rest of it with someone worthy of my affections and my protection. She was still important to me, she would always be, but I was letting go slowly, the memories of our capture and her passing. Reliving was never going to help me, it only consumed with anger and hate, if I continued that path I would have returned to the Initiative compound to kill them all (except Amy), and be caught and be used once again for their secret weapon.

To be truthful I was getting impatient, typical male behavior. So I did a lot of scavenging on my own and well, a lot of sit-ups. Being close to Buffy, well it brought out the animal in me, wanting to bury myself and become part of her. To stake my claim, that she was mine, knowing she would probably cut my balls off, if she only knew what went on inside my bloody head.

The neighborhood kids gravitated towards her; to me they were attracted to her noble heart. The bit of food she would get would be shared equally among the families on our street. Seeing her doing good and interacting with the children made me remember my past dreams of being a husband and a father. I wanted to give her children of her own, to see her care for them. Then reality set in and I looked around me, this was no place for babies and dreams, why would you bring a baby into this world? Defenseless against the inclemency's of No Man's Land, exposed to disease without hope of medicine or a cure, no security of food or water, threat of world war and nuclear holocaust. Swallowing my pride and my tears, I kept my musings to myself; there was no need to let Buffy know. She would get skittish around me if she knew. She was too young to understand my secret yearnings that were based on a feverish vision. My angel would probably take me to the Initiative herself.

One afternoon, while on my daily missions to get much needed items, I went breaking and entering into an abandoned bungalow. Of course I didn't find any food, being long gone taken or spoiled. I got some materials for the first aid kit and some clothes. In a closet I found a black leather duster in great condition, and the best part it fit me perfectly. I went back to our home, donning my jacket proudly. Nothing could have prepared me to the effect my appearance did to Buffy. Arousal signals went off, her breasts moving with her accelerated breathing, she was panting as if she had run for miles, I wanted her in my arms and that's what I did. I took her in my embrace and kissed her, cautiously at first, but when she responded so I gave in to my wish. Tasting her mouth, her tongue, licking her lips, tasting her skin. I found myself shirtless and I wanted to feel her skin next to mine. At night when we went to sleep, I would stay and watch her, always collapse exhausted. She finally looked peaceful and hopeful, like the angel I had first seen that fateful day.

I was hopeful this was the moment I would get to be inside my angel, that she would give herself to me. A loud sound, what I came to decipher as bomb detonations and screams stopped our interlude. Buffy ran towards the families to check on them, I was right behind her.

Looking at the sky, I knew what was happening. It was like seeing the past come alive. Radiation was all around us and no one the wiser. I would survive, but I feared Buffy would succumb to the poisoning like everybody else.

I feared the end was here. I would be left and get to see my loved one died in my arms again. The despair I felt, I kept it all inside. The children I had come to care about would die, all the people who had survived these past two years would die, some almost immediately others would take days or weeks until withering and decomposing. As we got closer to the city limits, we saw the horde of gangs and malcontents, they had been consumed by fire, hell-fire. I felt like the powers that be had started judgment day and those left wanting would be punished and consumed by fire.

The Initiative, with their private resources was up to their heads in protective anti-radiation gear, doing their part in controlling the chaos. I wanted to throttle them, instead of controlling why not prevent it from happening. The biggest problem of our daily lives was misinformation. We had been accustomed to a world that information was everywhere and in an instant. Now we didn't even know if the country still existed, how many people had survived, nothing at all.

Uncertainty.

It ruled our lives; she was the real horseman of the apocalypse, driving us to madness.

More death ensued with the bomb detonations instigated by the Initiative. It was all part of the plan. They would get the healthy humans and start all over again. All of a sudden I felt like eyes were looking at me, and I knew I had to protect Buffy, at all cost from their experiments. If she survived the blast, she would be perfect for the procreation of the next human race. They had my blood; they had decoded and wanted to reproduce. Taking hold of her arm I ran back, away from the city, back to our home, we need to get our supplies and move.

Once we were back at the house, Buffy fell to her knees crying and sobbing uncontrollably.

"It's happening, isn't it? We are going to die! It's all over, all those children...we have to help them, and we have to go back. Are you listening to me! Spike, please, please..."

Without looking her way, "We have to leave. There's nothing here we can do. If you survive this...Please survive this...I need to protect you from the Initiative. They must have other compounds around the rest of the living population. I don't know how many people are immune, but I do know there were others back in the compound I was kept prisoner. I never saw them, but I could hear their screams. I don't want that for you... you would become their lab rat and their incubator for whatever monster they have concocted out of my blood and the others. Please, don't fight me on this...I beg you to lo..."

She sprang from the floor and ran into my arms, "I love you, William. I do. I just didn't dare say it out loud, it felt pointless with death knocking at the door, but now I can say it, 'cause I can clearly see it in your eyes every time you look at me. Once you came into my life, the hole in my chest seemed to close and I was no longer alone. You have been here with me, when you could have gone on, finding a better place. I love you..."

We kissed, hitting our front teeth. This one was aggressive, full of possession, wanting to take the breath of the other. This was it; we needed to run from here, find possibilities elsewhere, wherever that may be.

¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•*´¨`*•.¸¸.•

_My vision in some ways came true._

_Buffy was spared from the radioactive holocaust that started to consume the Earth._

_It didn't even spare the Initiative with all their resources._

_Their chimera project was consumed in the hellish flames._

_Only a very small group of humans survived, they called themselves the Chosen._

_We had been chosen by whatever god or higher power to continue living and multiplying ourselves._

_It felt like God had not really left us._

_I had hope once more, just like a coin in my pocket would when I was a child._

_I had found a coin, a fountain of hope when I had found Buffy, all alone._

_We saved each other._

_Now we roam the Earth, a new world, no longer No Man's Land._

_It's a new Eden, where a new race is flourishing._

_My son and daughter are free to walk and enjoy the sunshine._

_My angel can finally see the birds soaring through the skies._

_Freedom._


End file.
